God's hands

I have been studying Ecclesiastes.  There are two things that keep on coming up and helping me in this time of my life. The first is life is meaningless without God. But with God life is meaningful and has a purpose.

The other picture that comes into my mind is God's hand holding us even when we life is so crazy and it seems like the bad things keep on happening. I can imagine myself freefalling through the sky and his hands holding me up.

Life is not always going to be sunshine and roses. One thing I have learned in the last couple of years is God uses the hard times to bring you closer to him. To remember that he is holding you up. I have a great friend that I have been meeting with to go through the good and bad things in my life and also to help guide me through some difficult times. When it seems like family and friends have deserted me or if I tell them what was happening at one time and I was being judged. God I see still with me guiding me. Helping me learn more about Him. How to laugh and how to truly love. His hands surround me with His Love and protect me. Even through we can be hurt by this Eorld heaven is going to be a wonderful place where we can experience his perfect love. We can never experience this type of love in this life because we are imperfect. I have just been enjoying the thought that He is holding me through all of this. And as I have a greater love for Him and listen to how he is guiding me I will feel a fraction of the Love that he actually feels for me.

New job

I had felt that God was telling me it was time to quit my job. This was at a time that I was starting to hear him speak but I was still resisting him. 

One day my boss told me that he had lost too much work and there was not enough work for me. 

This was at a time that I had just signed up for the prayer class and I needed a rest. I went to make a payment on my insurance policy and the owner of the company asked to meet with me. She said that one of her employees decided to retire and when I walked in God told her to hire me and that I would be a great asset to her company. 

She hired me on the spot. Gave me the books to study for my insurance license and told me I could start in January. This gave me the time that I needed to learn more about God and it took the time that I needed to get the healing from my past that I needed. It also gave me the time to help people and learn more about his plans in my life. It was perfect timing for me to spend time praising and listening to God and also learn to thank him for all that I had. 

God's Presence

A reminder that God's presence is always with us and for us...whether we feel it or not...

Psalm 139:5-8 (look it up ;) )

"Beneath are the everlasting arms - and they bear the print of the nails. No matter how far I have sunk, He descends to lift me up. He has plumbed all the hells of this world that He  may lift us upwards. He is our firm support."

David Adam, The Edge of Glory

This has been on my mind since the conference last weekend. God is always with us even when we feel alone. This was a great reminder and recap of the last couple of years. A couple of years ago I meet God for the first time. It went from head knowledge to heart knowledge. The heaviness I felt for years started to melt away and I felt his presence. This was at the lowest point in my life. I had lost my job, my husband was injured at work and I started to feel alone. My family had abandoned me saying that I made the wrong choices in my life and I saw this add in the bulletin for immanual prayer classes. For the first time in my class I felt God telling me to go to this class.

But of course in true Amanda fashion I dragged Chris along. It was a time in my life that I took time to listen to God relax and learn the power of healing prayer. This is for emotional healing. Helping me deal with lots of the pain that I had in my life. It was there that I met a women that helped me to learn a lot about God's plans in my life. And she has helped me in many situations. She has also helped keep me grounded and thinking about God's plans for my future.

On the days when I don't feel God's pressence. I have to remember that he is still there. And I want to continue to write out the ways that God has shown his presence to me during this journey.

A long time has passed

This past weekend I spent 4 days worshiping and praising God at the prayer summit. It was a wonderful time where we spent days worshiping God and listening to his word and God speaking to us. 

It actually inspired me to start writing Again. These last couple of years have been hard but also very fulfilling. I have found a new church family and many brothers and sisters in Christ. I got married Andrea although we have had many trails (I lost my job, my husband was injured at work, dealing with mental illness and loss of income) it has brought me closer to God and listening to him. I have also gained great friendships that have helped me heal from the past and the present. 

It's amazing when you realize how God can heal you through prayer. I think this blog is going to be a new hodgepodge of things. Telling you all how God is working in my life and how amazing God is. Sometimes when you go through trials it brings you much closer to God. 

It has been a while

I have been really busy with work and life lately that I have not been able to update my blog.  It s crazy how busy life can get.  But lately somedays it seems like all I do is work and sleep. And workout of course because that is what I seem to always be wanting to do when instead of sitting around at home.


I started seeing a psychologist last month to try and figure out how to realize that I have lost a lot of weight and maybe it is almost time to stop.  Or at least start to slow the weight loss down.  It has been hard to figure it out but I think they are finally getting through to me. 


This mental struggle has been pretty hard for me.  I have seen some people that have not recognized me and I still have a hard time believing the person in the mirror is still me.  But I also find as I loose weight I am also changing.

So....

I have been thinking I need new goals to keep me active and less obsessed about my weight loss. I was thinking about doing another 5k in the summer and then I started to think. How about I push myself and do a 10k. I might be odd but I really enjoy running. The whole time I listen to sermons on my iPhone and it actually takes my stress away. That and stairs. I do enjoy doing stairs most of the time now. Now That I have actually admitted it I probably will end up doing one hour of stairs at bootcamp tonight and I will start to hate them.

I have been really busy with work and church stuff so it seems like I am never home. I think my cats miss me when I am gone because they will not leave me alone when I am at home. Which is a good thing. At least they still like me. 

Well that's all for this week. I have to get to bootcamp. Hopefully I will not have to do too many stairs. 

40 weeks...

So I am now 40 weeks out of surgery and have lost 180 pounds in total.  I am feeling more and more like a new person.  People are starting to not recongnize me anymore which is a great feeling.

Yesterday I got the results from my one year post cancer testing and I am still considered cancer free. Which is so exciting. Now I just have to do a ultrasound and a biopsy once a year and everything should be good. Which is really exciting. 

I have started bootcamp again. I crave exercise all of the time so I thought I would start working out more again. I spoke with my surgeon and have the ok to do all of the exercise I want as long as I eat food. So yesterday and today I did a pyramid of stairs and it is nice to be back on the exercise wagon again. Servus Place is my home away from home.