Work...

Grrr.... It seems like nothing ever changes at my work. I am getting so frustrated with it. When people quit they just give me all of there work until they find someone new. I just wish that I could just do my job and not everyone else's job. It gets so frustrating. But I have to remember that there are positives regarding my job:

1) That I have steady employment

2) That I can take off time from work for Doctors appointments and I still get paid for them. To be honest I take off at least 4 or 5 times a month to visit my various doctors.

3) They still pay me when I take off time because I have had surgery and I still get vacation time.

4) I like working with the people that I work with most of the time anyways.

I just have to remember this when I get frustrated.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Last Saturday Michelle and Richard came over and in the evening my Dad and Richard went out and we had a girls night. Michelle, my mom and me. Lately I have been pretty depressed with my whole situation and we watched the movie "Soul Surfer." In this movie the main character has her arm bitten off and her whole life has changed in a second and she uses this verse as encouragement to remember that God is in control of everything that happens in our lives. A couple of years ago I bought a tile with this verse on as a gift for a friend. For some reason I never gave the gift to them and I have it in my bedroom. I look at it every day but for some reason the words these words have a whole new meaning. For the past year it seems like my life has been on hold. I had to wait to have my gastric bypass (which still has not happened), I had to wait to have my cyst removed and then I had to wait to see if my cancer has been isolated to one spot or if it had spread throughout my body.

I can make plans for my life but I am not in control of my life. God has planned how my life will turn out before I was even born. I cannot change anything that is happening but I can work on improving my health by doing what the doctors say and by praying.
Life is never easy. There are a lot of ups and downs throughout it but I have to put my trust in the Lord that he will help me get through all of this.

I cannot wait for the weekend. Especially since it is the long weekend and Michelle and Richard are coming for a visit. It seems like it has been a long time since I have seen them but I guess it is only a month and a half since they were last here.

I am thinking that I need to have a holiday to get away from everything that is happening right now. I should take some time off as I have a lot of time banked so that I can rest.

I am feeling a lot better today then on Friday. I also have gone from being so tired all the time that all I do is sleep to having a hard time getting asleep. Which is really weird but if I wait a week I probably will not be able to stay awake anymore.

Today...

On days like today I just wish I felt normal again. I am tired of always feeling blah...

So I thought that I would change my blog a little bit to make it easier to read. Well actually I could not figure out a way to make the titles on the sidebar to change from white to black so I just made the whole background black and that solved all of my problems. Well I think it did any ways.

I have to figure out a way to pick up my medication from the hospital on Friday. I ordered it but they are open the same hours as I work so maybe I will just leave work a little bit early so I can pick it up.

So I went to my doctor a couple of days ago because I have not been feeling well for a couple of weeks and she basically said well you are sick so you should not be feeling the same as you did before you got sick. And that maybe I should slow things down a little and then I would not be so tired all the time. Since I have been going to bed super early everyday I am pretty sure I have slowed down a lot and I am not as busy as I used to be. Lately it seems like all I do is work, go to the gym, school and sleep. And I guess I should add going to the doctor because it seems like I am always a one of my doctors offices at an appointment. I think this is the first week in a while where I currently do not have any doctors appointments scheduled.

Results...

The doctor finally called me regarding my results yesterday from my MRI and CT Scan. They indicated that the cancer has not spread and that the cancer is isolated and that they are going to continue as they were originally planing so I will have a follow-up meeting with the doctor next week and then they will finalize my treatment plan.

Also yesterday I went to the support group meeting again. I was unsure whether I should go or not because of everything that is happening my gastric bypass surgery has been on hold but Adrianna convinced me that I should go just to talk to the people that go to the meeting because even if my surgery is on hold I still have a lot in common with the people there and she was right. Sometimes it is easier to talk to people in a group setting then talking to people face to face. Even if you see them every day.